things I can do with my hands

1. play guitar
2. imitate the sound of a helicopter to my own satisfaction and others’ annoyance
3. crack all sorts of knuckles
4. pretend I broke my thumb
5. do that thing that Spock does
6. stroke an imaginary beard
7. count to 31 in binary
8. hurt my knuckles attempting to crack them
9. smoosh things, if they’re soft enough

pushups

1.

2.

3.

      4.

 

 

 

 

5.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…10.

Places I would like to visit

1. Filene’s attic

Things you can do in Grad School that you can’t do in the Real World

1.) submit your work by a deadline and get it sent back with a typed smiley face and a gentle nudge to re-edit and re-submit

2.) sleep until 9:30am and do what you wish after 2:00pm

3.) have wednesdays off

4.) speak your opinion freely and even receive praise and encouragement

5.) feel like an equal among your colleagues:  everyone’s title is “Student”

6.) feel like an end goal is in sight within a short amount of time – end of a paper, a course, a semester, a degree program

7.) spend hours on a weekday laughing with your peers (before happy hour)

8.) not stare at a computer for 8 hours straight

9.) change your seat or work space multiple times a day, a week – each with a view other than the same cube, desk, wall, or windowless space

10.) have a five week break in Dec./Jan.

reasons not to panic

1. It can’t have gone far.
2. I know how to diffuse it.
3. There’s a cure.
4. It doesn’t look angry.
5. This happens to all men at some point.
6. She didn’t technically break the law.
7. I don’t think it stains.
8. They can’t prove it.
9. I’m a doctor.
10. I’m sure they’ll send out a search party.

three strange things that strangers have said to me lately.

1) As I pushed my cart down a supermarket aisle, I felt a sneeze coming on. Since both my hands were busy pushing the cart, I simply turned my head and quietly sneezed into my shoulder. A woman standing 10 feet away from me yelled out, “Ugh that’s disgusting! Look at her, she didn’t even cover her face when she sneezed! You people are gross!”

2) As I moved my 10 lb bookbag from the seat next to me to make room for a fellow passenger on the T, a lady next to me snarled, “Finally.” I looked at her and said, “Sorry?”, and she said “No, I’m not sorry. Are you?”

3) As I backed out of a one-way Dunkin Donuts parking lot that I had accidentally turned into, a man drove past me and yelled, “It’s one-way, you fucking bitch!”

America is such a funny place

times I have farted audibly in public while listening to my iPod

• ?

7 things that make me wish I were much, much, shorter.

1] Cross-Atlantic flights
2] “Honey I Shrunk the Kids”
3] White Castle sliders
4] Children’s train sets
5] Bowls of Jello
6] Magnificently furnished and elegantly realized architectural models
7] The possibility, however remote, of riding on a chinchilla or in someone’s shirt pocket

girls with whom I regret making out*

1. Anna
2. Lindsay
3. Theresa
4. Taylor
5. Marissa
6. Summer

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Things I’ve done for love but later wished I hadn’t.

1. Put lemon juice on my freckles to make them disappear.

2. Eaten something I am mildly allergic to. 

3. Pretended to be blind.